you know those days...

...when you get up, look at your hair in the mirror, and think, "i think i can make this work with out washing it."

then you get in your car, look in the rearview and think, "what they hell was i thinking?! this is NOT the same hair that i had in the bathroom 15 minutes ago."




today was one of those days.

that moment...

after you've ordered in the drivethru and then you realize you have no way of paying for your food.

yea.... about that.

all i wanted was a corndog ad chili cheese fries!

and the pity party comences.

birthdays are no fun when I'm not in the same city as all of my friends.

I was thinking that this birthday was less climactic than the ones in years past because there is nothing special about 23. Then Jessica said she would plan me a party and I realized, while thinking about who to invite, I have nobody to invite. All the people* that I usually invite aren't here. Why can't we apparate like Harry Potter? Like would be far less complicated, and you'd never have to worry about a designated driver either.

Life is so unfair.

**by people I really only mean Tamura.

/end pity party.

if you are not a girl, I suggest you stop reading this post now.

I was in Target on the aisle with necessities that every pre menopausal woman needs once a month, contemplating what exactly I needed, when I look out of the corner of my eye and see a male employee, probably 20-25 years old coming my way.

I think to myself, "this is odd, why are you approaching me?"

He then says to me, "Hi, are you finding everything ok, do you need some help?"
Complete with a smirk.

/blushing uncontrollably
/blank stare

I attempt to recover and say, "Um... no I think I've got it covered, thanks."


Seriously?? Sorry, dude, this only one of many decisions in my life that I don't need a man to help me make....

it's been one of those days...

but not the entire day. The morning was good, and went by fairly fast, now the afternoon is dragging by and everyone is annoying me.

On the up side... or not so up side, I'm going with mom to take the girls to the circus.

That's right, the circus on a friday night, this is the fabulous life of a twenty-two year old.

I know you're jealous.

Christina's Pet Peeve #2348404568

Mixing chocolate and peppermints in a candy bowl. It literally makes me want to cry when I bite into a piece of  chocolate and it tastes like peppermints.

I would eat Thin Mints if I wanted my chocolate to have minty taste.

it's d-day.

I know the end of the world isn't supposed to happed until Saturday...

but MY world is ending today. Probably after getting my shots for Germany.... or while I'm getting them.
Either way.

The worst part is, I don't even know how many I'm going to need. They just said bring your shot record and we'll do what we need to.

I attempted to run away when I was 13, I'm not above doing it again.

file under: I took off all afternoon aniticpating the traumatized state I'm likely to be in...

people...

• who have voices like a tidal wave... the goes up and down and the speed in which they talk fluctuates.
• who insist upon being immature bitches.
• who call the office and act like my best friend, even though I have no idea who they are.
• who lie.
• who ask me for something and the come to my office to get it about 30 seconds later.
• who can't change lanes with out coming within 6 inches of my car and giving me an unexpected adrenaline rush that I didn't need on the way home for lunch.
• who are too perky.

If one (or more) of these characteristics describes any part of your personality, just stay away from me.
Your cooperation is very much appreciated.

Have a great day!

those moments when you're not sure if someone is kidding or not.

Me: Automatic Fire Protection
Customer: Is this Marty?
Me: I'm sorry?
C: Is this Marty?
M: Would you like to speak to Marty?
C: Yes, is he available?
M: He's actually not here right now. Can I take a message?
C: No, that's ok. Do you know when he'll be back?
M: I'm not totally sure, but I would guess in about an hour.
C: Ok, great. I'll call back...You just kinda sounded like a Marty.
M: Ooh, ok.
C: Ok, thanks.
M: /slams the phone down

WHAT THE HELL?!
I sound like a 55 year old man?! 
Come at me bro... I'm about to teach what kind of verbal abuse you can get from a girl that sounds (supposedly) like a 55 year old man.

i don't even....

"We're sorry, we have still not been able to locate your bags."

I never want to hear an automated voice from an airline say those words again. EVER.

but the good news is, I just got a call from a real live person at our airport saying they have my bag.

HOORAY for that.
I was already making up a list and calculating how much I was going to make them pay for all of my belongings.... yes, I'm that ridiculous. You don't lose 5 pairs of my shoes without consequences. No sir.

So now you know how my trip ended I'm going to let you know how it began....
but probably not til tomorrow.

Happy Tuesday everyone. I'm back at work (with a dead phone and no make up due to both being packed in my lost suitcase), with my luggage, slept from 3:30 - 9:30 this morning and can't wait to tell you all about my fabulous trip to the City.

that awkward moment...

when you see your ex.
at church.
and he sees you.
and he's walking towards you.

so you smile and turn your head simultaneously as to ward off unnecessary niceties.
but you really want to punch kick him in the crotch.

yea... that awkward moment.
you know what I mean?
anybody?
no....
ooook then. just me.

eh.

-

This is how I arrived, and I have an inkling that this is how I will leave. I got too much* sleep last night, overslept, left the house with no coffee or breakfast, and just got my ass chewed out** by an angry customer.

*too much?! that shouldn't even be possible.
**I wouldn't get my ass chewed out if other people in my office would take care of things. Hasn't anyone ever heard the saying, "Don't shoot the messenger."

I watched St. Elmo's Fire for the first time...

the only thing on my mind the whole time was...

No, Rob Lowe. Just, no.

that moment....

...when you think the hiccups are finally gone,

then BAM!

They're still here.

It's been a day for putting up with idiots and rude people. Now I've had the hiccups for about 20 minutes.
Give me a break already!!!

currently in my inbox:

I only have so much self control...

vera, express, ae, kate spade...

YOU'RE KILLING ME!!

And this is just a few of MANY.

I better get a second job soon.

answering the phone:

Me: "Automatic Fire Protection."
Them: "Yes, can I speak to Joe? Is he in?"
[oh wow, he sounds like a tool. must a telemarketer]
Me: "Junior or Senior"
Them: "Senior, thanks."
[hmm... definitely bogus]
Me: "May I say who's calling."
Them: "John, thanks."
[it's like pulling teeth.]
Me: "John..."
Then: "John Smith, I'm a good friend of his. Thanks."
[if you were his friend, you'd know that he doesn't go by Joe.]
Me: "Ok, what company are you calling with?"
Them: "Blah Blah, Inc. Is he in?"
[ugh. you're definitely getting voicemail...]
Me: "Let me check..."
[Don't even bother asking if my dad wants to talk to him...transfer straight to voicemail.]
[thanks for wasting 2 minutes of my precious time, I really appreciate it.]


This stupid conversation occurs more than several times a day.
I don't understand why they say thanks after every answer... your fake niceness gets you nowhere my friend. Nowhere.

overslept.

**wait for it...

Then I realized I don't have a blowdryer.

Then I realized I don't have any hair products.

My eyes were hurting hella bad and I realized I didn't have my glasses.

Forgot to make coffee last night. 

I walked into work 30 minutes late.

Too bad the last two are a daily occurence in my life.

On the up side, I watched the Daily Show, The Colbert Report, ate goldfish, and read Harry Potter while laying in bed last night. I also look hot this morning for getting ready in 30 minutes. I know you're jelly. Don't lie.

**because no post is acceptable without a picture or gif.

All I want to do is watch the last 4 episodes of Jersey Shore.

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!

a note to Chris Brown

• Get over yourself.
• It is not ok to act the way you do in public.
• Dye your hair back black.. that bleached out look is not working for you.
• Just because your famous infamous doesn't give you the right to throw abusive and destructive temper tantrums... it doesn't work for 2 year olds and it shouldn't work for you.
• Deal with your issues.
• You must deal with the consequences of your actions, and that includes answering questions about Rhianna. That's not even that bad, considering you could be in jail.
• I have no respect for you.

ok, seriously...

just stop.

Here's a recount of the day:

1. I woke up late.

2. My parents left the outside lights on, so my  mom called me to go home and turn them off and left Charlie out at lunch.
3. My car died, while I was drving. Luckily, I picked up on the signals and parked it before it completely bit the dust.
4. Called Joe, he came and got me, but couldn't jump it off. Apparently its the alternator. So we called the mechanic, it's getting towed.

5. Joe took me home and dropped me off. I let Char out and was going to drive the suburban... but oh wait, MY MOM HAS THE KEYS!!

6. He came back and got me. Came back to work... but had to spend money on lunch because we didn't have time to get to my apt.

7. A package I sent to be delivered overnight to a jobsite by 10:30 is MIA... so our guys are just standing around waiting... doing nothing... losing money.
8. One of our guys fell off a latter and his knee cap is on the side of his leg... no big.

....and it's only 2:30.

\trying not to have a breakdown\being unsucessful.